We Found Joy
What 627 women found in April
No other way to describe it: April blew our socks off.
I want to tell you about the month I just had. Because I think you deserve to know what it looked like on this end, and it will tell you something about what this community already is, and what it is becoming.
Behind the scenes in April I was wrestling custom tissue paper one day and engaging legal counsel the next. There were spreadsheets and badge samples and a printer that… well let’s just say there is a new printer now. There were highs and lows and a lot of tense late nights waiting for news. It was beautiful, chaotic, and occasionally overwhelming.
And then your emails and messages started coming in.
Hundreds of them. Each one a small dispatch from someone’s real life. A fridge cleaned after a year of avoidance. A tough phone call finally made. A flower noticed despite always having been there.
And I want to tell you: those emails are what pulled me through the hard moments. Every single one.
I wish I could share them all. In fact, it has given me a touch of analysis paralysis just trying to select a handful to reflect back on. But I want to give you a taste of the joy you found, and shared, in April.
I can’t explain how touched I am.
If you’d like to join us for the June badge challenge, we’d love to have you.
Become a Joy Finder here:
You found flowers everywhere.
Cally in Melbourne, Australia turned the flower walk into a turning leaf walk because it’s autumn there. Suzanne in Phoenix photographed cacti in full bloom and sent the pictures to family across the country. Emily in Massachusetts found spring peeking through sidewalk cracks and found dandelions growing in unlikely places.
You found beauty in what was around you and there is joy in that.
Sarah in Houston wrote:
“I was most excited for the flower walk and then each time I wanted to set out, the sky opened up and dumped rain. Walking around yesterday, I realized the rain and overzealous landscapers have scalped most things in my area. I chose instead to pluck the devil's ivy that grows out of pure spite, no matter what the landscapers or weather throws at it. I planted it years ago. It's survived multiple freezes, several summers of record heat, and the absolute abomination of Houston's clay soil. That devil's ivy always comes back.”
The tenacity of that devil's ivy has been on my mind.
You found the courage to make the call.
Many of you said it was the hardest one. The one that made you want to crawl out of your skin a little. And yet, you did it anyway.
Nicole from Illinois called her cousin to check in. She said they usually talk through voice memos and texts, but this time “it was great to connect and talk about mental health. Normalizing the hard conversations is so important.”
Sometimes reaching out was hard. Kristi from Tennessee said:
“As a millennial, I sure spent a lot of time talking on the phone as a teen but have grown into an adult who shies away from it. I talked to family members and friends I hadn’t heard from in a long time. Cleared the air on some things and got to connect about shared common experiences. It was truly the most rewarding challenge, once I got past the fear of reaching out.”
I have seen inside all of your fridges, and I am impressed.
Oh, the fridges. A year on to-do lists, cleaned in thirty minutes. Laura from California really did earn her badge. She wrote:
“I got home last night, got mad, kept my shoes on, grabbed the scary drawer of veggies and walked it out to the dumpster as soon as I got home from work. It was a moldy, soupy mess. I dry heaved as it all plopped into the trash. But I finally did it!! And not wanting to cheat and claim I earned the badge without doing the final project really encouraged me. I think this badge earning is going to help, and I’m SO excited for that!!”
Yes, exactly!! Because sometimes the badge is just the incentive you need.
You rested, even when it was hard.
The ninety minutes of quiet surprised almost everyone. So many of you said it was the challenge you expected to coast through and the one that floored you.
Rebecca from Nebraska said:
“This made me feel anxious at first because my phone seems to be an extension of my hands. I took the time to sit with myself in nature and just breathe, pushing all of the intrusive thoughts from my head. This was my favorite day of the month.”
Erin from California wrote:
“The one I knew would be the most challenging was the 90 minutes of no stimulation. My ADHD-addled, dopamine-starved brain wanted to reject every part of that and I put it off. But I reached a point where I was feeling so burnt out and overwhelmed that I was like, ‘enough!!’ And I left my phone on the table (with a note for my partner because he would think I had been taken if he came home and I was gone but my phone was there) and I went for a walk. At first, it felt weird and uncomfortable, but I just let myself sit in that discomfort, and by the time I got home, I felt much more relaxed. I have started driving to and from work with the radio off sometimes to give myself a bit of calm time, and it helps!”
You made appropriately “crappy” crafts.
A paper airplane. A binder cover that was, in the words of its maker, “over-stickered” and definitely not going to the Met. Bedazzled sunglasses for a competitive dance awards night. A decoupaged Yoplait container turned into a vase. A felt Kindle case. An activity wall for kids from random items around the house, made by someone who was SO proud.
Sarah from Indiana said:
“The one that surprised me the most was the crappy craft challenge. I am usually a perfectionist about crafts and don’t want to do anything I won’t be good at. Pushing myself to dig something out of the craft closet and just go for it was exactly what I needed.”
While you were working on your other five mini-challenges, I told you “Share” was on me.
In our founding month, I told you that for every member who joined, Joy Finders would donate $1 to the Malala Fund. So here’s what we gave to support adolescent girls’ rights to secondary education this month:
What you found when you made room for joy.
Clara summed it up best:
“My work/chore life went smoothly because of the insertion of joy.”
And I think that's what every single one of those emails and messages was really about. Finding joy is what makes everything else a bit more possible and a bit more beautiful.
And some of you showed up for all of it through really hard things.
I’m not going to share details that aren’t mine to share. But I will say that some of the emails I received this month came from women doing these challenges in the middle of grief, illness, loss, recovery, and heartbreak.
They showed up anyway.
Some of them told me these small acts were the only joy they found that month. I read every single one of those emails and your bravery, humor and tenacity has had a profound impact on me.
This community held a lot in April. I’m grateful for every person who trusted us with it.
Come find joy with us.
One monthly challenge. One embroidered badge. A community rooting for you.
I want to say something about the name.
You may have noticed things look a little different around here. I have a new uniform, which is much more my style, and we have found our way to a new name:
We realized we needed to make the change and we are making it with intention and care — and actually a lot of excitement about where it is taking us.
The name change also means there will be a small delay in receiving your April badges. The new version is being produced as we speak and we are rushing them to you the moment they arrive. (My goal is to get them to you by June 1st.) And your May badges are coming right after.
But despite delays and name disappointments, here’s what shone through: This project has turned into something I did not anticipate.
It turned into women completing every single challenge in the middle of some of the hardest months of their lives.
A widow rediscovering her relationship with food and her kitchen.
A woman recently diagnosed with a serious illness finding something to spark joy again.
Someone remembering she is a writer.
None of that is about a name. All of that is about what happens when a group of women decide to show up for themselves and actually do it.
That is what you built in April. That is what we are taking into May and everything after.
With so much joy,
P.S. My background as a therapist informs everything we do here at Joy Finders, but this program is not therapy or mental health treatment. It’s a playground for you to explore joyfully, connect meaningfully, and chase everyday enchantment ✨
I cried more than once reading this post. All thanks to you and Judy Blume. 💖
Your time, effort, energy and friendship don’t go unnoticed. 🫶🏼